musings

2008-12-01T19:51:00.000+11:00

time to move.
http://innerabundance.wordpress.com/

victory rests with the Lord

2008-11-19T22:58:00.002+11:00

proverbs 21: 31
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
but victory rests with the Lord."

note to self:
quit obsessing about grades
stop comparing
let go
let God

'what heights of love, what depths of peace
when fears are stilled, when striving cease
my Comforter, my all in all
here in the power of Christ I stand'

princes park

2008-11-14T23:30:00.002+11:00

this morning i went for a run at princes park.

and a number of interesting things happened.

it rained! then i tried to take a shortcut hoping to get back sooner. but i think because of that i forgot all my bearings and i took a turn too early, finding myself wandering along rows and rows of houses, with the colleges nowhere in sight.

and i was running with my ipod, so i was all for protecting my precious ipod from the rain.so i put my clenched fist containing my ipod under the bottom end of my shirt. what a sight it must have been! haaaha.

but as i was braving the rain and covering my ipod, a pleasant thought was suddenly dropped into my head-- that if i care enough about my material ipod to shield it from the rain, how much more my heavenly daddy cares about me; how much more will he shield me from the storms of life as i journey with Him. (: reminded me of footprints in the sand.

on the way back, i was too captured by the grandeur of the clock tower at ormondcollege to run past without getting a closer look. so i ran into the college. i thoroughly enjoyed the sight of the colourful flowers in bloom that dotted the shrubs along the walk. and the buildings were so majestic. very harrypotterish. that's kind of how i always dreamed my uni's campus would be (again, part of the reason i was so fixated with studying in london. i really want to go to vienna + salzburg + london!!). the old buildings simply make me happy. the architecture launches me into a whole different era. it's so dreamy i love it. think of castles, royalty.. mmmmm (:

put your records on!

2008-11-12T23:04:00.004+11:00

ch-ch-checkitout!

coolstuff #1 Favorite music helps happy heart: study
coolstuff #2 Music to your ears? Music for your heart, too

put your records on!
tell me your favourite song
you go ahead let your hair down!
(:

soap; peace

2008-11-07T09:16:00.003+11:00

good morning.

my books and notes have been my best friends the last couple of days.

i am really thankful that my exam timetable is relatively spread out, as it was last sem.

m&m if you see this thank you for being such delightful dinner company yesterday, i really had a good time talking to you all.

some soapsuds to start off the day:
proverbs 14:30-
A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

I find it intriguing that peace is a starting point for life- a life filled with faith, hope, and love. Indeed someone told me that revisiting the point of mountain top clarity - of the peace that surpasses all understanding - is such an important aspect of remembering why you are doing what you are doing. come back to the higher purpose of it all. it's so easy to get caught up in the rat race, and that is sadly meaningless. Having peace about you do is just so important, i cannot stress it enough. But I can say that it is one of the principles that I live by and make decisions by. For I know that this inner peace of having a quietened heart helps guard my heart in my Maker. Peace He gives me, peace He leaves with me; He does not give as the 'world' gives.

And what of envy poisoning our very being? Comparisons in our limited human sight is like a dark viscous fluid that creeps into and darkens our hearts. It is so easy to get caught up in the humdrum of life as defined by the world around us, using status, power, popularity and just some of the yardsticks by which to measure success.

Believe me I quite often find myself affected by comparisons with others. Then I have to remember, that such comparisons are needless. Why try to be someone else when the Creator fearfully and wonderfully created me to be to be well, me? Endeavor to be the best _____(insert name) that you are called to be.

Be.

take my life and let it be

2008-10-24T09:10:00.000+11:00

Take My Life and Let It Be
Frances R. Havergal 1874

Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.

Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee;
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise;
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

stop or go

2008-10-11T01:23:00.002+11:00

hmm. funny how often God tells us 'stop' when we want to go; and 'go' when we want to stop.

Your thoughts are above my thoughts, so Your ways are above my ways.

take me deeper, deeper than i've ever been before.

there's no pun let's have some fun in the sun

2008-10-01T10:21:00.006+10:00

HELLO WORLD.

much to say about the holidays.

the first week was awesome. didnt accomplish any work at all (oops).

anyway we had cellretreat over the weekend which was fabulous. i like apollo bay a lot! such a nice chill out place. the sun, the sea ,the sand, the spectaculant and importantly the people made for a great retreat. t'was nice to getaway from the city.

whee i'm too lazy to type so i'll let some photos do the talking.plus got loads of work to do!

ltcretreat

2008-09-24T01:28:00.003+10:00

feels like ltc came and went in a whirlwind.

the past few weeks have been that of exponential growth, i'd like to think. i had the opportunity to learn a lot of stuff hands-on.

retreat was over the weekend, and my ohh my was it awesome. well actually the whole learning journey was awesome, but the retreat was the exhilirating finale. i feel so invigorated, so refreshed.

there's so much i have to say about retreat related matters. i spent half the afternoon consolidating my thoughts and reflections on it. it spans about 4 pages on mic word. but what i journaled shall not make it's way to the blogosphere (: it suffices to say that my last post is evidence of part of something significant related to retreat. maybe slightly more than a page's worth on the word doc.

just watched walleeee tonight. so cute hehe. i'm honestly not much of a watch-cartoon-in-cinema kind of person. so for me to like the movie means it's pretty good! haha excuse me for praising my own opinion.

so glad it's hols now. time to stop. think. read. reflect. refuel.

and not forgetting the fun stuff too wheee

okay i'm out of here, shall not keep you any longer (:

faith, vision

2008-09-14T16:01:00.003+10:00

sometimes you dont need all the answers before you step out in faith.

a vision without action is an illusion.

1 Corinthians 1:
25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

2 Corinthians 12:
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

i needed to be reminded of that and that.
take all my fears, my inhibitions, all my burdens and ambitions... You can use it all; no gift is too small.

ltc, homecell, msts, assignments

2008-09-10T23:17:00.004+10:00

g'day mate! sorry for the lack of updates of late. (hey that rhymes and it wasnt intentional! heh)

i have been ultra busy with midsemtests and assignments. i had 2 msts and 3 assignments due this week! everybody say 'whoaaaa...'

haha but my God is bigger than all of that and His grace has been sufficient for me! now i just have to catch up on all my tutorials which i didnt do for the week. hmmm

dear everyone on the sunny isle up above, hope you all are doing great!

very briefly, so you all have an idea of what i've been up to apart from s-c-h-o-o-l:

i am really blessed to be here in mb.

i've had the privilege to do a lot of hands on learning in ltc so far (:

last friday's homecell was the bomb! we had steamboat (thanks to bh for buying the fab food, although i know you wont read this haha)! we even had tom yam soup to go with it. yum (: the theme of our little party was social stereotypes. so we were all assigned [by karennn (:]to dress up as various social stereotypes e.g. emo, goth, nurave, heavymetal, rap, hippie etc. i was a hippie! haha.

check out fb for more photos!

Shepherd of my soul

2008-08-30T22:27:00.002+10:00

thank You for encouraging me in so many ways this week... through Your word; through songs; through Your people; through the opportunities and experiences You have given me...

my life is a learning journey.

i want to be humbly dependent on You. i want to set my mind and heart on things above... to remain in Your word...

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep,
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

Shepherd of my soul Oh You have made me whole,
Where’er I hear You call how my tears flow.
How I feel your love how I want to serve
I gladly give my heart to You O Lord.

Be it in the flowing river or in the quiet night,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face the stormy weather or the dangers of this world.
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

tuning in to the right frequency

2008-08-23T23:08:00.002+10:00

this is my 200th post. Wow.

I cannot help but wonder at times, if I am excessively idealistic.

Ideals are good to the extent that they are the visions and dreams you can set your heart and mind to work towards. I do believe that seeds of thought, when planted in fertile soil, have immense potential to grow and bear fruit in ways only possible as He directs.

But what happens if in the process of searching and longing for more, you bypass the very blessings and opportunities under your nose? The more underlying question is, why do I sometimes worry about missing out? I should be focusing on tuning in to the right frequency, so I will know when and which train to catch, instead of standing at the platform and with my eyes wandering in all the wrong directions.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord.

I can't stand how my mind periodically wanders so far ahead of the present, of worrying about one thing after another, and the worries pile up on top of another. Then I realise what a silly thing I'm doing, fretting over tomorrow and making needless comparisons. Do not worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough worries of it's own. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

I need to trust and step out in faith. I want to rest in the peace of God.

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

God is my reason to sing and worship

2008-08-20T18:47:00.004+10:00

my cup is bubbling over with joy and excitement (:

i have some incredible news to share!

on monday i lost my voice, when i'm supposed to be serving on vocals this friday. i was contemplating calling in sick, but somehow i didn't have the peace about it. i kept believing in God for healing and claiming the words of the songs for this week (they are so relevant!)

today when i woke up, i felt sooo much better and stronger, and, my voice has returned! because i had already made an appointment, and also as a precautionary measure, i went to see the uni doctor (for free haha) this afternoon. and he didn't prescribe me any medicine. he said i appeared to recovering well already. praise God! (: my God is the God who heals and provides! it's really a miracle.

i've been reminded that every good and perfect thing is a gift from above. that God is so good and gracious to bless me. and just as surely as He grants us these things, just as easily they can be taken away. worshiping God is a lifestyle, a choice for me to make no matter the circumstance, ['my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way].

'I have a reason to sing, I have to worship'... to tell of His faithful love... to point others to Him.

'for every blessing You pour out, I'll turn back to praise' (:

skitripshots

2008-08-13T16:15:00.006+10:00

a snippet of photos from the weekend's ski trip @ falls creek
[more on fb (: ]
at the foot of the first slope of one of the trails

group shot!

our snowman attempt

dinner group on the last night (:

woww snow

just before the bus left for the city

so long for now, falls creek.

go ski go whoosh!

2008-08-12T23:33:00.003+10:00

news flash for the past week...
-got a keyboard with weighted keys (:
-skiing at falls creek!

the ski trip at falls creek was enriching, and memorable for all sorts of reasons.

it was very picturesque! i brought my camera along but didnt use it in the end... so no photos for now... though i really want to share the photos here! maybe after i collect photos from others.

random points to note:
-the blanket of snow everywhere was bright white (hey it rhymes!)
-i like the gentle touch of falling snow brushing against your face
-sitting in the chair lift when the cold wind is blowing snow straight into your face makes the uncovered parts of your face go numb
-getting up in skis when you fall down is more tiring than it looks
-i'm very grateful to the other bunk for genorously opening up their place to us for dinner + games... it was a good time of just hanging out
-my eyes are getting bigger. no, not in the literal sense. i mean it along the lines of 打开眼界，阔宽视野 (dear reader, are you going 'wow, she used chinese?' haha. the writer is just amusing herself now.)

treasure trove

2008-08-05T18:40:00.007+10:00

i wanted to revisit and organise my thoughts from last night's house church
here goes (:

treasure trove
thoughts flitting like a butterfly
catch them with my net
life, love, heart of worship
collect in my treasure trove

unpretentious, gentle spirits
who make me feel loved
kindred hearts beating for One
elevate my joy

to teach, counsel, befriend
desires welling up inside
to point others onward, upward
my gifts I hope to give

support, nurture, speak, call forth
real fruit I hope to see
prince or princess, your identity
beautiful, you're royalty

visions generated deep within
a little foggy they may seem
but of His grace enough I know
to take baby steps in that flow

the voice of Truth is beckoning
the compass needle is hovering
with peace in points of clarity
let go, don't try, be

with all my heart

2008-08-03T18:20:00.003+10:00

when i do something i want to be able to do it wholeheartedly

focus. prioritise. some things have to wait.

peace, peace that transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ.

you know, sometimes you can't change the circumstances, but you can always choose your response.

cantabile

2008-07-28T01:12:00.002+10:00

cantabile

God is good, all the time
He put a song of praise in this <3 of mine

i choose to worship You
no matter the circumstance

Your grace keeps me going
Your grace restores my soul

thank You for today (Sunday). it was lovely, from start to finish, for a multitude of reasons, of which i am a bit too sleepy to expound on. i can squeeze in the main reason - fellowship (: thank You for blessing me with what i have here. i have been a little oblivious to so many blessings God has poured out on me, even though they have been right in front of my eyes. i want to focus not on what i dont have, but on living as my Heavenly Daddy's princess (: i dont know if that last statement sounded naive, but, i really, really mean it.

ephesians 4:1. I want to live a life worthy of the calling I have received.

this semester is for You.

i trust in You.

girls CAN do math

2008-07-26T23:46:00.002+10:00

have i ever mentioned how in my math classes in uni, the number of girls is vastly outnumbered by the numbers of guys?

READ THIS ARTICLE:
Math scores for girls and boys no different, study finds
haha i was very entertained by it.

You hold my every moment...

2008-07-26T16:45:00.003+10:00

this is real inner strength in Him...

You hold my every moment
You hold my world in Your hands

sunny island up above >> down under for a new sem

2008-07-24T14:35:00.005+10:00

i am back down under! it isn't as cold as i was mentally preparing myself for, which is a good thing (:

i'm very thankful for a well spent holiday back in the sunny island up above (: (: spending time with family and friends [thanks everyone, much love from me to you <3],>

after my last post there was a lot of revisiting places and people that gave me a healthy flood of memories! mg;ac;coos-related mainly. lots of smiles, laughter, catching up, hearing the delightful sound of handbells (: [my juniors really shined at the combined concert :D ]

God is so good.

i'm really happy i had to go back to ac again on tuesday to get my cert before the waffle hunt. because i got to talk to some juniors and my favourite gp teacher (: our little belgain waffle trail was quite something too! we even dropped by the esplanade on the way back.

what we do when we visit our alma mater, when we're done eating and visiting the teachers. this happens to be the shot i have with the most people jumping haha.

sneaked into mg'sLT2 wahaha. oh it's founder's day tomorrow!

after the belgain waffle hunt, we took a little detour back (:

well oh well, now many friends will be entering a new phase in uni. all the best everyone! enjoy uni okay (: a cheerful heart is good medicine!

as for me, i want to live out every moment i am blessed with to the fullest; to savour each moment i have on the life-long journey of whatever comes my way. looking forward to what God has in store for me this sem (:

the week at a glance

2008-07-14T02:22:00.005+10:00

the main happenings since my last post:

-a1 dinner at swensens (nice time updating each other)

-went back to mg for handbells practice (it's always heartwarming to see your juniors getting along well (: )

-spending time with my mum [at home, shopping, and marketing] while my dad + elderbro had their bonding time in london, paris, and manchester. they came back recently and i've been gawking at the photos they took, and taking in all they've had to say about their trip like a hungry kitten lapping up a bowl of milk. need i add how much i want to go to europe??? well, some parts more than others, to be honest, but you get the drift.

-dinner with fang geok xin karen (:

-got my results for my first sem at uni. thank God for blessing me with very good results (:

-sleepover! - lots of eating of yummy coffee and pomelo flavoured mooncakes, benandjerrys, xin's delicious oatmeal jam cookies and more; camwhoring; mahjong; unanimous verdict that psiloveyou the movie has a disjointed flow and lacks a feel-good vibe one would expect; lack of sleep as expected

-sconesouting - it was good fun even though we were in vivofoodrep for most of the time and ended up sitting on concrete steps instead of the beach. it was just great hanging out with them over food and card games. i love this bunch heaps! they added a whole palette of colours to my time in jc.

-ecp picnic cum cycling with guitarfriends (:

-good family time today

uni applications; check the condition of my heart

2008-07-05T17:04:00.003+10:00

it's been lovely being able to meet up and catch up with many people the past few days. haven't seen a lot of people i would like to see yet, but there's still time (: (:

had lunch with and then shopped with ame xinny and rach yesterday. had a very enjoyable time catching up with them :D went back to acforpassionac after that.. it's a really different feeling going back as an alumnus. how do i put it... it's like you've seen a lot more after jc and being back in the hall made me feel a tad bit old :/

when i hear about the lengthy process my friends had/have to deal with with regards to uni applications, i feel like my uni application was unbelievably hassle-free in comparison.

in my case, i just knew i had to do well for prelims cos i was already planning to apply for uni with predicted grades. and i just needed to get the relevant testimonials and look for the teachers in charge to endorse the testimonials etc etc. probably nowhere near as complicated as the application for local unis.

hmm yesterday was talking to ame about the feeling of how your future is 'hanging in the air'. in her case a particular body has been taking extremely long to get back to her. and for me, well, my waiting period thankfully wasn't that long in comparison. the actual process of applying for this one uni didn't give me much problems. i wasn't particularly nervous about it. perhaps it was because i was still in the midst of a levels and the reply wasn't particularly top on my list of concerns.

after i got my coe, i was probably more nervous about whether i could take the math subject i wanted to. it was the pondering of which course to do that took up a great deal of my mind last year; and from the time i received my coe to the early part of this year, it was questioning whether the major i wanted to do was my calling.

sometimes you just need to think back and reflect to realise the tremendousness of God's hand working in your life. just need to be continually plugging back into and seeking direction from the True source.

sometimes it's when we think we've got something figured out, that we start to deviate from the narrow path. 'whatever is true, noble, right, pure... if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things'... i certainly need to constantly keep my heart condition - motives and intentions - in check.

just listened to the recording of last week's sermonatlifeex. how true that at every point in our lives, we ARE at a place. we just need to hold up the sign - one that points people to the Truth. forget the needless comparisons with other people's signboards... just hold up your signboard the way you know how. be an imagebearer, representing faith, hope, love, life...

haircut; davidcook

2008-07-03T23:29:00.002+10:00

snip snip snip. my hair is 3 inches shorter ahh :S

davidcook's recording voice is stunning!

pictures say a lot

2008-07-03T01:45:00.006+10:00

some random photos

my kor's 21st (:

confectionery shop at chadstone

baked a birthday cake with karen

dempsey road is so colonial-ish. very quaint.

long beach seafood (happy [belated] 19th fang!)

had crystal jade and ice kacang with them today (:

sunny island set in the sea

2008-07-02T12:41:00.003+10:00

it feels like exams finished ages ago when in fact it's only been a week. what a splendid week it has been! will upload photos later, tonight perhaps.

my dad and bigbro are flying to heathrowairport now! LONDONandPARIS and manchester awaits them! i'm sure they'll have a blast there. my bro has been looking forward to it for a very long while. and in recent weeks he has consistently reminded me of what he will see there, do there etc. hrmmph.

i will go to europe some day!

as for now i'm glad to be here in sg with lots of good company (: (:

thank You for blessing me with a wonderful first sem of uni life. i've learnt so much in the span of the last 4 months (i can never look at the word 'span' the same way again after one topic i learnt in math!!)

4 key things i've been learning...
1. to rely on the Giver, not the gift
2. to study with a higher purpose in mind (2 cor 20:15)
3. in every place God has put me, to endeavour to seek to serve rather than be served (matt 20:28), emulating the example of the greatest figure to ever grace the earth. for it is in giving that we receive (acts 20:35)
4. to wait patiently in hoping for what is yet to come [our fave motto in jc-thebestisyettobe!!] (romans 8:25)

soap suds

2008-06-26T23:46:00.003+10:00

ever shared a thought with someone, forgot you ever said that, and then some time later be reminded of what you said by that same someone, at a time where you needed to hear it yourself?

if you know what i mean, things like that that happen really make you stop for a while and think, 'Wow.' funny how things have their timing. there is only one explanation (: ecc 3:11

anyway, i finished my exams for my first sem at uni yesterday (: in retrospect, it's hard to miss God's grace every step of the way. before uni started, i couldn't imagine where i'd be now. i wasn't even certain which math subject i could do, for instance. [and that's just one example which happens to fall under the academic aspect of life... if i dwelved into the nitty gritty of what i've learnt since 19-02-08, i would have to churn out pages.] but there was always faith and hope to keep me going. re-visiting the moments of peace - mountain-top clarity - is of immense importance.

i guess when we're in the moment, since we can never tell how things will proceed from then, faith is always required to make the next move. however small the move, if you keep going, those baby steps accumulate to give progress. needless to say you'd want to be making progress in the right direction, and that's where what you put your trust in matters.

hmm, i dont' seem to write much in a 'what i did today' kind of format, do i? i just write down whatever thoughts are swirling around in my brain, which tend to be
1.what i've been thinking a lot about
2.what strikes me greatly all of a sudden

not all my innermost thoughts ever quite make it here though. internet's too impersonal for me. but this space still exists for a variety of reasons, one of them being that typing is a lot faster than writing in ink in my journal. still, i like having a journal. i never have to write ambiguous statements in there. is having a journal old-fashioned? maybe. but i like it. whatever i think i might need to be reminded of someday goes into that journal. it's not so much a diary but a reflection thing. a little soap-ish perhaps. no, don't think soap opera, think scriptureobservationapplicationprayer, except i don't write methodically in my journal.

this is such a long entry. maybe my next entry will be of a bright and breezy 'what i did today' sort.

the sunny island up above awaits very soon! (:

buildings with a hundred floors

2008-06-23T01:13:00.006+10:00

faith is spelt r-i-s-k.

some of you know that's the very phrase that confirmed my conviction of what course to do in uni.

strangely enough, as the semester draws to close, that phrase resurfaced in a message i took the time to listen to yesterday afternoon.

and i just listened to the song 'breakaway'. and i thought the lyrics quite aptly described the bigger picture relating to why i came here. some excerpts here (the more applicable parts):

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Travel on an airplane, far away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky

But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

very often i have so many thoughts running across my mind all at once, so many that they have to be organised in prose. other times i come across songs and it dawns upon me that the lyrics describe what's on my mind. am i making sense??

all i'm really saying is sometimes my thoughts are all over the place... like flying ropes with many loose ends needed to be tied... this makes it necessary to sift through them, to dig at what's really beneath it all. abstract would be the right term to describe my thoughts. i like thinking metaphorically, figuratively, as opposed to literally. somewhat linked to this is how i am very idealistic in many ways. i am very much a dreamer. i tend to focus on how things could be rather than how things are. sometimes i wonder if i'm excessively idealistic. that's why it's so important to be able to quiet my soul...

to be still and know He is God.
be still and know.
be still.
be.

be steadfast in Him... to receive the peace that transcends all understanding, and which guards my heart and mind.

unishots

2008-06-18T11:13:00.002+10:00

some photos taken in uni(:
pardon the quality of the shots, i was using my phone cam
i took the first two shots from the lib hahaha. the 2nd floor is my favourite place to study in that particular lib because of the view (:

this is somewhere near the commerce builing. i was walking around on campus.
this is the side of one of a music faculty building (: i liked the hues of the leaves

dreamy thoughts on salzburg and vienna

2008-06-10T18:24:00.006+10:00

i'd really like to go to salzburg and vienna one day. those places are rich in culture, music, architecture, and heritage from what i know. the perfect places for a holiday.

i just took a break from my studies to google pictures of those two cities and the photos i came across were breathtaking, how much more beautiful it must be in person.

come, imagine with me - the intricate detail carved into the buildings, the grandeur of the palaces and fotresses, the tranquility of the parks, the mellifluous music, and woven into it all the stories of people of the past (think mozart, the von trapp family and so many more)... mmm i would soak up the atmosphere if i were there. sighs dreamily.

reality check: i'm a student, and i've got an exam tmr. haha but that shall not burst my bubble of happy and dreamy thoughts. i can be so whimsical - such a daydreamer - at times hee. one day when i've started working and saved enough i will go to those two cities (:

reflections on semester one

2008-05-31T18:23:00.004+10:00

mmm exams begin in 10 days.

i feel... at peace. there's a lot to study, but it is God who trains me for His battle (: i want to persevere for Him. and it is only by His grace that i'll make it through the exams

yesterday, i was feeling very stressed about my studies. then this passage really spoke to me:
Matthew 8
Jesus Calms the Storm
23Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him.
24Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.
25The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
26He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
27The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"

during cell we had a time of reflection and sharing about the semester. in retrospect, i believe i have grown this last semester. i'd say the key lesson i've learnt so far in my time here in the past 14ish weeks, is to let go, let God... to entrust things into His hands.

hmm i like the lyrics of the chorus of this song i heard recently:
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
...
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time (someday we'll understand)
...
It's the faith that makes you stronger

some of the other parts of the song's lyrics i personally can't quite agree with. that's because they're pretty focused on oneself, for instance 'you wanna show the world but no one knows you name yet'. if you'd asked me when i first came here, i very well may have identified with those lyrics. but now, after one sem, i can say i've been learning that God must increase; I must decrease. i want to share what i have with others; i'm blessed so that i can bless others in turn. i don't need recognition. all i want is to live a life worthy of the calling God has given and gives me. this is not to say i don't believe in God for blessings. I do, but whichever way God wants me to take, I want to follow, to put Him first. And I know His plan is the best for me. i've learnt that i shouldn't let God's promises become bigger than God... and that God has His perfect timing.

Isaiah 26
3 You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
4 Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

7 The path of the righteous is level;
O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.
8 Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you;
your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
9 My soul yearns for you in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for you.
When your judgments come upon the earth,
the people of the world learn righteousness.

12 Lord, you will grant us peace;
all we have accomplished is really from you.
13 O Lord our God, others have ruled us,
but you alone are the one we worship.

2008-05-24T00:17:00.002+10:00

hello there

my week was great (:

on tuesday i finally went running with karen :D i love the feeling of really working your muscles. i can vouch that exercising helps you stay more alert. before coming over to melb i was exercising pretty consistently (since i had so much time on my hands) so when i first came here, i could survive on 6 hours of sleep a day and not feel tired in the day at all. but last week the effects of lack of exercise began to show and even with up to 8 hours of sleep a day, i got tired much earlier into the night. now that i just ran on tuesday, i am many times more alert in the day. i caught the movie 21 at night. it's a great movie!

on thursday i had a one hour break between my lesson and lunch with my friend, so i had the pleasure of watching free recitals given by music students at the music faculty. it was so nice to be able to soak in good classical music. i love it when musicians bring across their music well not just technically, but also in terms of expression. music should always be genuine and people should move with the flow of music, rather than have some stiff rehearsed movements.

yesterday i attended band practice, and it was good being able to see how things work on that level. at the same time must always bear in mind that ultimately it's about the Giver, not the gifts; we are merely instruments through which He acts. 1 tim 2:5- 'For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus'

thanks for the wonderful weekend

2008-05-19T21:51:00.004+10:00

hello!

i had a really really wonderful weekend, you know? (: i spent almost all of it playing away

on friday morning after pbl test ended, i was so happy because it marked the end of a 3 week long period of tests and asssignments (:

there are so many thanksgiving points for my weekend:
-right after math lecture ended on friday, i went... SHOPPING!! HAHAHA.
-ocf at night (:
-3 of girls in my cell stayed over and we had a lovely time of bonding i think! :D
-God is really so gracious! last friday i dropped my wallet in the lt during ocf, but i managed to recover it without any problem at all the next morning (:
-on sat afternoon, a number of us from my cell went down to clayton to give our support at the soccer match and it was good bonding time again (:
-we had dinner in the city
-church on sunday morning (: and my friend decided to visit! yay!
-lunch after church
-bought lots of choc from bigW hahahah you should see the size of the cadbury dairy milk choc fruit and nut flavour block

to everyone back in spore, you have no idea how much you guys make me smile! everytime i hear from you guys or learn how you guys are doing, be it on the phone or via email/ msn/ facebook/ your blogs, it really warms my heart. *blows kisses* hehe much love <3

follow the conductor (:

2008-05-11T20:44:00.004+10:00

the concert i attented last night was okayish. okay fine to be brutally honest, it was pretty sub-standard technically. but they made a good song selection which included music from star wars and westside story (: so that helped to compensate a little for the lack of technical prowess.

as i was listening to the music from westside story, i couldn't help but be reminded of the westside story production put up by my dear alma mater last year. and from there i just had a rush of memories of jc days. ahhh, those were good days (:

after the interval, the orchestra played a not so famous classical piece that i don't think they could handle. the mistakes were even more jarringly obvious than before! and it was pretty messy because A LOT of them obviously were not following the conductor.

and so over the course of that final 30 minute-or-so-symphony, my thoughts basically wandered all over the place. it's quite nice to daydream on classical music lol even though in this case the playing wasn't altogether that great. if they played it well i'd definitely be much more focused on the players' ability to emote and simply be into the music. probably only one violinist was really, really good and interesting to watch.

well anyway, as my thoughts wandered, i suddenly had this analogy with regards to paying attention to the conductor.

Anyone who's played in a musical ensemble will know how crucial it is for every single person in the ensemble to follow the conductor. It’s the conductor that keeps the music together. It is possible to be skilled at the instrument and yet fail to play at the beat given by the conductor. This wrecks the rhythm of the piece and the togetherness of the music, such that what the players do amounts only making cacophonous sounds.

God our Creator is just like our conductor. When we fail to recognise how important it is to follow His timing and to play our part as He directs, we end up making a mess of what we do. It is only when we learn to use our gifting as He leads us, that we can make euphonious music, and everything falls into place.

Sometimes when you're playing in the ensemble, from the position where you sit, you can't hear how the ensemble sounds collectively, and you don't realise the effects of playing as the conductor directs. But if you hear the music as the audience does, you'll realise how together and beautiful the music sounds.

Similarly, sometimes we may not understand why things have to be done a certain way or you have to go through certain experiences. But when you see things from a different angle, even if that perspective is only acquired much later, you will understand the beauty of it all. Indeed, He makes all things beautiful in its time (ecc 3:11) (:

and it's nice to hear that back in sg the concert went well (: very very proud of and happy for my juniors. it's always nice to hear that stories are being continued in wonderful ways (: and there are so many pages yet to be filled; so many more chapters to come! there will always be ups and downs, but as you get to each new page, you'll understand the meaning of the content of the past (:

classical music and concerts

2008-05-09T02:16:00.006+10:00

i'm finally done with accounting assignment! yay!

after completing it, i watched august rush on my laptop because i didn't feel like doing any more work heh.

it's a pretty good movie! except for *cough* some of the morals of the movie. now movies without such loose acts are hard to come by :/ but anyway, as i was saying, apart from that, the movie was rather enjoyable!

part of the reason i like it is because music is a recurring theme in the movie... how music can communicate without words or pictures... and brings people together. i like how they merged the classical and pop genres (: the movie has a nice soundtrack.

watching and hearing people play classical music on the show made me realise how much i miss being surrounded with classical music in my life. no more musical cca during which we can just play songs without words together. music has a cathartic effect you know! :D one of the reasons i always enjoyed being in a musical group because it was a nice way to get away from all the school work while still in school.

hmm i'm missing my juniors' guitar concert this sat :( would really love to be there in person to support them, but i guess that's part of the trade-off of studying abroad. so to attempt to appease my deprivation of musical performing arts (though certainly not to the same extent my juniors' concert would), i am going to catch a classical concert held by a few musical groups in uni this sat night. i'm looking forward to it even more after watching august rush!

let me see the world through Your eyes

2008-05-06T00:40:00.004+10:00

so many tutorials, assignments and tests to be done. i almost feel outofbreath thinking about the workload.

help me remember that the battle is not mine, but Yours.

i am studying for You.

mmm recently got back my marks for some tests and assignments. thank You for what You have given me Lord (:

let me see the world through Your eyes!

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything i am for Your kingdom's cause
as i walk from earth into eternity
[brooke fraser - hosanna]

music; worship

2008-04-29T13:04:00.005+10:00

i just shared this with jo and i thought i'd put it up here too (:

music for me is a very personal connection to God. it's heartfelt and intimate. i love sitting by the piano when no one's around and just playing and singing songs to God. God's been teaching me more and more about true worship recently.

i don't have a piano here in melbourne. while i do have my guitar here, and i do play it almost everyday, it's just not the same as your first instrument. i was intending to get a keyboard, but God told me to wait for one sem at least. He's teaching and challenging me to worship Him without a piano- to rely on the Giver, not the gift. i would love to get my fingers on a piano, but at the same time i also am very at peace about what God's working at in me.

so this is one issue related to worship through which God has been teaching me. another lesson related to worship is what i went through a couple of weeks ago, which led to a few posts which probably looked pretty emo to a lot of you haha.

worship's definitely a lifestyle; our response to God. music is just one component of it, but without a doubt a very special one, as jo and i both find it to be (:

mmm, to have a heart of worship; to bring Him more than a song; to truly worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:23-24)-- these are all things to bear in mind, not just for people who love music, but for everyone.

i love how these lyrics talk about how while music is so dear and intricate already, the best of music still fail to describe the splendour of the One True King. the bolded bits have got to be among the best rhetorical questions i've ever heard.

A Greater Song
By Paul Baloche
VERSE 1
Who could imagine a melody true enough to tell of Your mercy?
Who could imagine a harmony sweet enough to tell of Your love?
I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day
And I know in my heart that there must be a way

CHORUS
To sing a greater song, a greater song to You on the earth (x2)

VERSE 2
Who could imagine a symphony grand enough to tell of Your glory?
Our highest praise but a feeble breath, a whisper of Your thunderous worth
I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day
And I know in my heart that there must be a way

CHORUS
To sing a greater song, a greater song to You on the earth (x4)
Hallelujah, we wanna lift You higher, hallelujah, we wanna lift You higher (repeat)

He must increase, I must decrease. john 3:30

2008-04-26T20:03:00.002+10:00

its funny how one thing happens and changes your whole point of view

everything that seems to matter gets cast aside for a better truth

- Corrinne May

a lot of times it all boils down to our perspective, doesn't it?

studying. math.

2008-04-25T18:18:00.004+10:00

i need to say this- i really really miss studying with you guys! everyone with whom i studied with for a levels at one point in time or another.

i miss everyone's weird studying habits! yeah i know i always got made fun of for the 'weird noises' i make when i study? hahah even though i don't even know what noises those are.

the other day i looked through some fb photos and came across those shots taken during the studying period. ahh good times! (not the studying bit, but being able to spend time with you guys even if it meant studying)

studying in the lib, the hub, lt3, starbucks, delifrance etc etc. you guys made studying that much more fun! no kidding.

i've got heaps of math questions beckoning to me... calling to me to find a solution to their problems. okay not funny. i just did math the whole day so forgive me for my crankiness.

but i still do enjoy math. yes i do.

a higher purpose in mind

2008-04-24T16:13:00.005+10:00

good day to you there!

i'm feeling very happy and at peace to be at home now, at this time. from mondays to wednesdays i end at 515 515 615 respectively. almost all my classes are in the afternoon you see, except for one morning lecture on thursdays (including today).

wow i've been here in melbourne for more than 2 months now- just over 9 weeks. i'm getting more accustomed to life here (: God is so good.

the time i've been here is also equal to the time i've not touched a piano! :( it's not easy to abstain from playing piano for so long, but i know God is teaching me something through this!

the second tests + assignments season is coming up! there'll be 2 tests next week, one assignment due the week after, and another assignment due the following week.

i daresay the uni workload is heavier than what we had in jc on a normal basis. but compared to the prelim crunchtime last year, uni is of course still not as bad as that... well not yet at least! and hopefully it never will be (pretty please?).

but so far so good- God's been blessing me in my studies, and i'm so thankful for that. i want to glorify Him not just with the good results He gives, but through the whole process of consistent work etc. i recall telling some people during the exam fever last year, that excellence is making the most of what God has given you, and i really believe in that (: and remember that is one of the three aspects of the mg vision (:

speaking of mg brings me to my next point, about our upbringing and the environment we grow up in. every single experience i have been through isn't by chance. i am very blessed to have the parents that i have, and much of who i am today i have to thank them for teaching me well. and i am immensely privileged to have gone through both an mg and ac education. i think people are very impressionable in their youth (and yes i think we still are at that stage), and a lot of my ways of thinking, personality and character, i believe God has shaped in my time in mg and ac. not being in a mission school anymore, i can all the more see how critical it is to be do things with a higher purpose in mind. if not it's so meaningless...

'11 God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should [reverently] fear Him [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].'
-Ecclesiastes 3:11-14 (New Living Translation, parentheses from Amplified Bible)

songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness

2008-04-18T10:41:00.000+10:00

this is good:

'Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness.'
-TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski
http://www.twloha.com/the_story.php

棉花

2008-04-17T22:20:00.005+10:00

okay i just remembered something very funny. i just had to blog it before i forget it again.

last week during wednesday's math lecture, i sat behind this angmoh guy who wore a shirt which had chinese characters on it. the print was quite stylish, italicised and all, so i suppose when he bought the shirt he thought the chinese phrase had to be pretty snazzy. well these were the words printed on the back of his shirt:

...
...
...
...
...

棉花

HAHAHAHAH. yes, i know you are wearing a cotton shirt; you don't need to tell me that by wearing that statement.

do i sound very mean? hahahah sorry i was just too amused when i saw that.

another amusing incident: during monday's math tute, one guy was playing with a toy car. i shall not comment further.

AND last week, my math lecturer used the term 'dodgy' on a statement. he literally wrote next to it 'looks dodgy'. that was lol funny!

is it me or do a lot of funny things happen during math? hmmmm

well accounting lectures are always very humourous too, because the lecturer is so comical!

this week has been good! since most assignments were turned in last week, i suppose they tried to give us some sort of a break this week. next week it'll be back to crunch time again, once all the assignments start coming in, plus i've got two tests next next week.

life is good! i realise i may have sounded pretty emo for the last few posts but don't worry, it was a good learning experience for me (:

i'm getting to know my coursemates better slowly. and i'm making new friends at the same time (: don't know how many of them i'll actually form close bonds with, but it's always good to start somewhere (:

on tuesday i had a free lunch! it was for people in facofCommerce with scholarships. i got to bring my brother along with me. the lunch was quite informal, the only thing bearing a hint of formality was a speech by the dean. i met a few of my coursemates there; that was cool!

you know it's pretty interesting learning microecons in a different way. when i go back to spore, i may very well visit our dear econs madam and tell her all the different approaches she can use on the j1s and j2s. like labelling graph areas instead of the points, and teaching costs of production with tennis balls.

and when i next visit ac i also want to properly thank madamcpl in person for writing a very nice testimonial for me

it's friday tmr! :DD and i'm going shopping on saturday. i can't wait! hehehe

seek to glorify God

2008-04-13T14:22:00.004+10:00

if i had my way, i would fly all my friends from singapore over so i could share this experience with them! yes you and you and you! you guys are still in my thoughts even as i'm settling well here.

i told you this week would be good, and it did turn out great (:

the only thing that didn't materialise was my shopping plans with 2 other girls, but it's just been postponed. which is why i now have time to blog cos i don't have to rush my work anymore haha.
thursday was an especially good day. i had lunch at this really nice thai restaurant with a some other commerce students. later i met rach for dinner, and after her apartment's lift gave us so much problems i headed to my cell friend's place to join them for a bit after they had dinner.

on friday, karen and melissa came for ocf :)) and the sermon was so meaningful. this was the main point that really struck me-- sometimes in the course of pursuing our dreams, even though they may be promises from God, our focus sometimes unconsciously turns from God to the things. as in we think that after we obtain those things, we will give God the glory. but it should be that we seek to give God the glory throughout the entire process. that message served as a confirmation of what God had been revealing to me, and i just felt so at peace (: i knew for sure that that was what God had been teaching me the past 2 weeks in that area. to let go.. and let God take control.

Josh Groban - Thankful

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for

Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

nothing is too difficult for GOD

2008-04-08T10:53:00.001+10:00

Jeremiah 32:27 (New International Version)
"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

WOW
doesn't that help to put things in perspective?

from glory to glory

2008-04-07T21:06:00.003+10:00

last week was a pretty tough week... emotionally draining... especially with regards to what i referred to in my last 2 posts. little did i know that the message i heard at the workshop at camp would become relevant to me so quickly. that was a hard but pivotal lesson and i won't forget it. it was good to cry it all out yesterday (i didn't even realise it was still bottled up inside) and release it to God.

these lyrics are a pretty good description of last week for me:
every single tear i cry is a diamond in His hands
every door that slams in my face i will offer up in prayer
so i'll give you every breath that i have
oh Lord you can work miracles
all You need is my amen
(:
i know God has got good things in store for me (: i will trust His heart... trust that He will provide. you know at camp, my group's name was Jehovah Jireh which means God will provide (: i will press on! i will not be thrown off course!

Matt 6 (NLT)
26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

read this verse in the morning:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. -Romans 15:13 (English Standard Version) [thanks mp, if you read this (:]

this week is gonna be great; i just know it! gonna be seeing a number of people i haven't spent much time with in a while (: will update about good and exciting happenings soon!

2008-03-31T20:56:00.004+11:00

thank You for giving me Your grace once again today.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness oh Lord, great is Thy faithfulness.

Now unto You who are able to do immeasureably more than all I can ask or imagine (eph 3:20)

<3

thank You for this test. thank You for giving me the grace to press past my tears... and to seek You in the midst of all the chaos and confusion in my head and in my heart.

twice

2008-03-31T19:02:00.008+11:00

!!!

i missed two sessions in a row. the first time i had to go for a wedding. the second time i didn't even know about it until it was over, thanks to my phone which went berserk again.

why??
why does this keep happening to me?
why does so much happen to prevent me from going?

i once heard that obstacles are there to make you realise how much you want something.

without a doubt i know how much this means to me... i cannot miss out on what i believe God has called me to do.

in spite of all the discouraging events that happened, God was so gracious... He led me to hang around the area trying to sms someone... when that person suddenly came walking by!

seriously, the fact that they turned into the exact street i was on at that moment, must have been by divine intervention.

easter break

2008-03-29T18:00:00.003+11:00

hello hello!

i just finished my econs assignment so i'm in a very good mood now (:. it took me one day to do it even though at first glance the assignement's not very long. try drawing econs graphs on microsoft word then you'll know how cumbersome it is. but other than that i probably took so long to finish cos i kept giving myself breaks heh.

you know here they taught demand and supply in just 2 weeks! to think we spent at least one term on it in jc, and i still didn't really grasp it until much later! i'm so thankful i took econs in jc, if not i would probably be struggling with econs now.

my easter break is coming to an end very soon :( it just zoomed by!

it started off last friday with easter camp which lasted til monday. i had an awesome time there. i went there quite stressed about school work but during the camp God spoke to me in so many ways and i just felt so much peace and i was reminded to persevere (: camp was a good time of meeting and getting to know people as well (:

the other night, i went for some stand-up comedy with my friends. it's part of the comedy festival that's running now. basically there are a lot of ongoing comedy shows so you can go for whichever you want (and pay for it). we chose one which featured the top interstate comedians thinking it sounded very proper and good. it turned out to be quite the contrary! it was in a rather small room so the show was pretty interactive. they asked members of the audience what their names were and were they were from (including us). and some of the topics they touched on... well, let's just say they would be taboo back in sunny sg.

so i wouldn't say i enjoyed myself but it was definitely an eye-opening experience. it's good to hear how other people think so we aren't jing2 di3 zhi1 wa1s. that's part of the point of studying overseas.. to be exposed to other cultures and ways of thinking. i am suddenly reminded of our econs madam's action of curling your hands to leave a set of holes to see through with our eyes O_O

remember the titans is a really good movie!

tired

2008-03-19T21:00:00.003+11:00

hello!

i had a long day today.

kind of tired. mentally.

but at least there's no work due tmr!

easter break is coming XD i'll be going for a camp over the weekend. and then i'll have to spend a substantial bit of the holidays doing assignments and preparing for tests :( the pace of uni is quite fast! there seems to be no end to work. well this is school life for you!

okay that sounds too gloomy. actually, besides the workload, i like where i am right now. i know it's where i'm supposed to be.

i'm getting to know some of my coursemates better, which is a good thing because lessons are so much better with good company! and ocf is a good way to spend friday nights. oh and i think the campus is quite pleasant actually! a lot of trees and nice buildings. don't you think a nice studying environment brightens up things so much? (: which is partly why i wanted to study in london, but that is another story. i don't like it as much when the buildings are so rectangular and greyish. just another of my personal preferences.

did you know there is an abundance of gelato and chocolate cafes here?! sweeet.

ooh yes last monday i went for moomba, which is this annual festival they have here. KAREN went too! (: there was a 10 minutes fireworks display which was so so pretty. the ones that dripped down gently were the prettiest of all.

and on saturday i went for an aussie wedding of family friends (:

soya bean mmm!

2008-03-17T22:25:00.003+11:00

i went to the asian groceries store yesterday and got myself a big carton of soya bean and some guilinggao! hee i was craving majorly for soya bean before that. my classmates last year will know how much i love soy products haha.

life's been good; there's so much to be thankful for. wish i could type more but i really have a lot of work to do :/ it is a big misconception that uni life is less busy than jc life! but good thing i like the subjects i'm doing, so at least i enjoy it (:

later!

a level results

2008-03-09T15:51:00.007+11:00

the more i think about my a level results and my life in general up till now, the more i see God's hand in it, even though i couldn't see it before.

believe it or not, 2 years ago, although most people thought i did well for o levels, i actually did not meet up to my aims. but now i see, the reason i didn't do any better, was because i was hopelessly dependent on my own strength then. God was gracious to give me those o level results even though i wasn't drawing strength from Him. the b3 for chinese on my first take was definitely the biggest blow to me, that was a wake up call, and by His grace i got a1 on the second take, and it even ended up being in my L1R5 (can you believe it!!) i grew a lot closer to God through that first b3, though not enough to make me fully surrender my studies to Him. i realise 2 years ago i wanted personal glory. good thing i didn't get it. i'm so thankful for the many hard knocks God gave me to make me realise it's not by my strength, but by His. it has always been.

i see how being in ac moulded me. i'm so glad i listened to His voice to be in a jc that gives glory to Him. there were a number of upsetting experiences in j1 especially, but all necessary for growth. ac has such a supportive environment. even little things like your classmates' company during lessons is such a gift. how nice to move from class to class with your friends! now in uni where we don't have base classes anymore, i can appreciate even more the camaraderie we were so blessed with in jc.

and so as i've got my a level results now, i'm so thankful for what i have. hearing all the talk about how this new syllabus we took resulted in the year's results not being comparable to the preceding years, i have to say my results are definitely by God's grace.

one of the subject grade i didn't expect much of was srp. i did put in a lot of effort into my report. and i remember my oral presentation was right after i received a b for a level chinese. i remember being so crushed, but it also made me more determined to do well for the presentation. thank God for helping me focus during that presentation and seeing me through, it went well! (thanks to my friends who smsed me too, you know who you are (: ). but i had the impression i wouldn't get a distinction because my project wasn't in the popular bio/chem fields, and at ssef no one took notice of it (compared to the rest anyway). as it turned out, some who picked up awards at ssef didn't do so well for the a level srp grade. so wow that grade for srp is especially sweet. thank God for it!

as for how i'm adjusting here, i'd say i really like melbourne. thank God that school has started cos it means i've been meeting more people. i've even bumped into 2 of my mg handbells juniors (: and it's great to be working my brain after bumming around for so long after a levels hehe. loving it here doesn't mean i don't miss you guys back in singapore though. i think about my friends back there everyday! you guys are in my prayers. love you all (:

Psalm 115:1

2008-03-08T15:44:00.003+11:00

Thank You God so much!
For being my best confidant always.
For being my source of strength.
For the dear people who have been there for me.
For everything.

Psalm 115:1
Not to us, O Lord, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.

~

Break my heart for what breaks Yours Lord.

May God open the right doors for all my friends who are in the phase of deciding which next step to take. Look to God, and follow Him even when you don't understand why. When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart. One day we will understand why.

One of my favourite verses is Zephaniah 3:17. part of it says that God is mighty to save. take heart in that (:

melbourne!

2008-02-27T22:23:00.006+11:00

okie i've officially been in melbourne for over a week, i had better update. i've been putting it off as i still don't have internet access at my house boohoo. you can only guess how i'm blogging now. only some people know heheh. but i assure you most of the time i use internet it's at the uni library (for fb i've only used it there), and it's really fast there so yay (:

to everyone who sent me off/ wanted to but couldn't make it/ gave me stuff/ sent me messages/ letters etc., thanks so much! much love <3

for about the first 3 days i was here in melbourne, i totally didn't access the internet and consequently had no means of contact with friends in spore. that was tough. but thank God i've got my brother here; i'm really so fortunate he's helped me settle down much faster! and him being here means i've got family here, so that's awesome (:

for now i am contactable via msn/email/fb. but once i get my internet line, go sign up for skype then i can really talk to you guys! (:

anyway melbourne's a lovely place to be in. the only issue i have problem with is the weather. the erratic weather!! within a day it can be hot cold dry wet. it takes time getting used to for sure.

i've really taken to heart whatever words God had given me - be it directly to me, or through others - with regards to this stage of my life. it makes so much difference to know i am on the right course, and what God wants me to do, even if i don't understand some things at this point in time. remember, hindsight is always perfect in the Lord!

ooh and i was accepted into the math subject recommended for the major i'm going for so praise God for that! i printed the h2 a level syllabus and brought it to the science fac's math dept to show them (i'm with the fac of commerce). i really think it's by God's grace i got into the subject even without having to take the advanced placement test! before coming to melbourne i was quite apprehensive about whether i could qualify for the subject. apparently a levels have given us a pretty good grounding in most topics save for mechanics, according to what the lady dr. said.

well with regards to orientation, so far so good (: made a number of new friends and bumped into some familiar faces! i cannot say enough how welcome familiar faces are in a new environment. i tell you, when you meet new people, you need to know how to make small talk haha. and then with time it progresses from acquaintance to friendship (:

fly

2008-02-17T03:43:00.001+11:00

on the night of 19th feb tuesday i will be at terminal 3 by 945pm.

and then

...

a new chapter begins

last week in spore

2008-02-17T03:21:00.005+11:00

to those i met this week, thanks for your time (:

in particular, mgclique i'm really glad all 5 of us finally found a common time to meet together again (:

thanks fellowscones for dinner, and thanks lily fang geok for organising it (hope i didn't miss out anyone!) thanks lily for opening up your house to us. love you all!

i really thank God for answering my prayers regarding cell outreach

this week the meaning of faith, hope, love was reiterated in so many ways

plugging back to the true Source is so important

My heart and my strength, many times they fail
But there is one hope that always will prevail
God is the strength of my heart!
And my portion forever!

faith is spelt r-i-s-k

2008-02-11T00:39:00.001+11:00

in kindergarten i learnt a song that goes like this- 'Chinese New Year is a happy time; it's a joyous time with lots of food to eat. new clothes, new shoes and a big hongbao...'

haha, it's quite a cute song. well yes the first 4 days of cny has been a happy time.

i'm thankful i went back to sabah for cny this year to see my relatives on my mum's side. i went there because i'm unlikely to have the chance to in the near future. it was a short trip, but very well-spent i'd say. i even hung out with my aunt quite a bit and got to know her better.

the only thing is i didn't get to see my cousins in kl :( but i did see them in december so that's not too long ago. i am more likely to go to kl when i have my vacation.

mmm 9 days to go and i've hardly packed anything :S

'faith is spelt r-i-s-k.' God assured me of something today (:

i met the hongkong gang over lunch today. i came from another dim sum lunch though, so i ate very little with them. had a good time catching up with them (:

mission schools and blessings

2008-01-30T02:47:00.000+11:00

going back to my former schools be it pri/sec or jc, makes me reminisce a little. in a good way. the memories formed during my time in those places all come to mind. i have no doubt that God called me to those schools and those experiences within to shape my inner person. i'm so thankful for them.

and it's nice to see the present [in the respective schools] getting along in their own way, in what will be unique experiences.

'we hope that we may honour bring, and heaven ever bless our school...'

'God save our land and heaven bless...'

may these schools continue to serve as a place of blessing for many more to come.

[food for thought... ]
one of the things i learnt in the course of the past two years, is that we shouldn't over-compare new experiences with the past. there definitely is a place for comparisons in order to learn from our past mistakes and improve from there. but you can't compare down to every aspect a new school to your previous one, a new class to your previous one, perhaps even a new church to your previous one. it just won't be exactly the same. there will always be plus points and minus points. what we should do, then, is to appreciate and embrace the good in the new, acknowledge what is lacking, and work to change that. if you can't change your circumstance, change yourself and/or create the change yourself.

in my case i periodically got frustrated thinking about how things were... needless to say that didn't solve the problem. it was easy to see how things should be by pitting current situations against past situations. often the current paled in comparison to the new because of the angle from which i was seeing things. but once you see the silver lining in the present, no matter how little silver there may be, you begin to gain a more positive perspective to things. sometimes the silver lining may be that you are aware of how bad things are that you know what needs to be changed. even that is a start. attitude makes a lot of difference.

in closing, this is something i learnt recently... 'do you seek to serve or be served?'

“...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” – Matthew 20:28 (NIV)

pre-departure briefing

2008-01-27T02:30:00.000+11:00

i went for the pre-departure briefing today. it was quite refreshing being able to meet new people... people i'll be seeing around for the next few years. i also saw a few familiar faces i didn't expect to see, which were welcome of course (: it's interesting how people's lives are intertwined even in the most unexpected places.

it really impressed upon me today how soon i'm going. a part of me is eagerly anticipating the immersion in a new environment, new culture, new lifestyle, new learning style, with new friends and so on. i think the current R&R period is adding to the eagerness of wanting to actually do something. and i am for the view that change is necessary for growth. sometimes the change is small; other times, as in this case, it's big.

but the other part of me wants to cling on as long as i can to my family and my friends whom i love dearly.

and in a somewhat related matter, i recently received good news! glory to God.

i think this break is allowing me to have blessed solitude and be much more introspective than i normally am (and i normally am rather introspective). i've been searching God and questioning myself as to what i want to see in the coming year, and the slightly more distant future. some answers, some confirmations are all i have at the moment. coupled with faith, i can hope for so much. press on in faith!

hk photos

2008-01-24T00:49:00.000+11:00

here are some overdue photos from my hk trip (:

the hotel.. it's connected to a stretch of about 4 shopping malls!

the park near the hotel.. so pretty!

ocean park. the ride in the bg is the train, or something to that effect

jumpshot!

we made the mascot do the sconepose with us!

and another

breathtaking hk skyline taken atop the peak. the rest were freezing there because their jackets were much thinner than mine haha

mmm beef noodles!

very nicely done up by zhixin (:

hongkong: of winter clothes, dim sums, ocean park

2008-01-18T19:26:00.000+11:00

good day world. i am back from hk! i had a very enjoyable time there shopping, eating, and going on a day trip to ocean park and the peak with the other sconers!

the nine of them stayed at karen's place. i think karen was a superb host. even on just the one full day i spent with them, i could see how much she had to do planning where to go, how to go, and translating everything for them. it must have been a trying job.

i think i had an average of 5 meals a day there :O really a lot, but you can't go to hk without eating all their fabulous yam chas and desserts! good thing i had to walk around a lot too, so the intake and outake kind of cancelled off :D

so i got enough winter clothes, all kindly paid for by my parents hehehe. normally in sg and kl i pay for all my shopping, which should be the way since shopping is not a necessity; we can all do with a little tightening on our reins in that respect. anyway i'm thankful my cantonese was at least good enough to communicate with the sales assistants. and i learnt the chinese characters for some dim sums that my parents always love to order in hk too. like ngau pa yip (beef stomach) and min fa gai (some chicken wrap). so you see the trip was fairly educational too! hah.

the hotel i stayed at with my parents has apparently been chosen to be used for beijing olympics; the horse riding events will be held close by the where i stayed. coolness.

on day 4 i met the sconers to go to ocean park. it was crazy fun being with them. we did sconepose in the automated ride camera shots and made the mascots do sconepose with us for our photos too! haha. a few of the rides were fun! i liked the train one, the dragon, the viking and the abyss. and they were telling me so many funny little stories of what happened to past few days. after ocean park we went to the peak. the view was breathtaking! the cold and wind at the viewing roof forced us to return indoors after not long though. for dinner we went to a beef noodles place near karen's house. beef stomach noodles was a first for me! we had dessert later too. i love my classmates and how we always have good clean fun whenever we're together (:

pride and prejudice. resolved to relax.

2008-01-11T02:51:00.000+11:00

if you ever have the time and means, do hear the pride and prejudice movie soundtrack. the music is ethereal.

my mum's quite smitten with the movie. she's re-watching it as i type. do take notice of what time i typed this.

if you caught the movie, and liked it, you should read the book. and vice versa. it's a witty fairytale set in the victorian age. and i mean it is a fairytale, so it's definitely a novel suited to girls. but far more than that, the book's also a commentary on social status and marriage in those times. the contrast between the lives of ladies today and the ladies back is quite stark, in terms of lifestyle, privileges and so on. and yes, as the title suggests, the book shares some insight on how we can sometimes be too caught up with first impressions that we fail to see who they really are.

the past week, i have been meeting people, helping out at home, watching movies/tv, letting my fingers have runs on the piano, and doing a lot of researching, meditating and reading. the last time i had so much time to read was after o levels.

i had my medical check-up today. it was very short, but the waiting time was long. good thing i brought a book to read. i'll still have to go back for one little test next week though.

i have resolved to relax all i want until i leave for further studies. to have resolution and to relax is quite a contradiction i realise. but yes i am determined to take it easy, for i do not know when i'll next have such a long break, if ever i do.

2007 (2)

2008-01-08T18:45:00.000+11:00

i don't know why i feel like i need to share more in depth about how 2007 was for me, as if i didn't do the year justice. the last time i kind of skimmed through what i was thankful for that happened in 2007. i had more time to reflect over the past week, so here's some of the highlights/learning points of 2007 and/or JC life for me:

-being an ogl: i was blown away by the school spirit. gained more confidence. and it's nice having og kids you know (:

-in my dear class: i don't think my class actually knew that sometimes i felt like no matter how hard i tried, i wasn't doing enough for the class. i didn't think the class was really united until term 4 in jc2 [i felt we were bonded within our cliques, but not as a class until then. maybe it was just me.]. i cried out to God many many times for things to improve, and He kept assuring me that i was doing okay, and to continue to do my part. i'm so thankful my prayers were answered, and we ended our school days on splendid terms. my class was definitely a key part of my jc life. love them very much (:

-guitar: it's really a miracle that we clinched GWH for SYF! i cannot emphasise this enough. when the exco was first handed over the reins, things were really in a mess (no offense to the seniors). it took every ounce of passion and tenacity in each person involved in the process, together with God's blessings that we achieved what we did. i believe God honoured our efforts. i cannot imagine how my jc life would have been, had i not been in a music-related cca, and even more ac guitar for that matter. when i entered jc, guitar actually wasn't my first choice but my third choice. but as it says in proverbs 16:9- 'A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.' -the sequence of events were such that i ended up in guitar. and i'm glad for it. when you give willingly, you'll be surprised how much more you gain in return. in contrast to being P of handbells in mg, running for and being sec in guitar gave me a chance to serve freely in my cca. as P last time i was under a lot of pressure to live up to expectations [not that i didn't enjoy it, i just was under much more scrutinity]. so this time round in my cca in jc, i discovered more about myself as a person and as a leader.

-a levels: oh, the horror that phrase brings to the current batch of jc2s hah. well i learnt more the meaning of tenacity and depending on God. time management was a crucial part too. i just recalled what i heard from fang that the results will come out in late jan/early feb :O

okay that's the gist of what i learned in 2007. there's additional stuff in my journal but i think i shall spare you who are reading this.

ooh, i just realised this is my 150th post.

the bell

2008-01-06T00:37:00.000+11:00

I extracted 'THE BELL' from an email. Having played handbells before, i am familiar with the sound a bell can make. Perhaps that is why i find this allegory so interesting... how we as Christians ought to create beautiful sounds for God's kingdom by living a life that testifies of God's love and grace working in our life. It's sad that many who profess to be Christians don't even try to live up to God's word. I readily admit I am far from perfect but it is God's redeeming grace that makes me want to continually improve myself to please Him, and bring glory to Him.
Hebrews 4:15,16- 'For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.'
'Dear friends, let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.'

THE BELL
I KNOW WHO I AM
I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:13-15)
I am united with the Lord(1 Cor. 6:17)
I am bought with a price(1 Cor. 6:19-20)
I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)
I am a personal witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)
I am the salt & light of the earth (Matt.5:13-14)
I am a member of the body of Christ(1 Cor 12:27)
I am free forever from condemnation ( Rom. 8: 1-2)
I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil.3:20)
I am free from any charge against me (Rom. 8:31-34)
I am a minister of reconciliation for God(2 Cor.5:17-21)
I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)
I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)
I cannot be separated from the love of God(Rom.8:35- 39)
I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor.1:21-22)
I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8: 28)
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)
I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph. 3: 12)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)
I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)
I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16). I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3). I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
I am God's co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1). I am God's workmanship( Eph. 2:10)
I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected (Phil 1: 5)
I have been redeemed and forgiven (Col. 1:14). I have been adopted as God's child(Eph 1:5)
I belong to God
Do you know
who you
are!?

Keep this bell ringing...pass it on:)

"The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make His face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn His face toward you
and give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26

my third ac orientation

2008-01-05T02:06:00.000+11:00

after going back to ac for the past two days, i decided to stay at home today.

well, to recount what happened, quite a number of us went back for the first day of orientation in our sec school uniforms. some teachers gave us funny looks while others simply couldn't tell us apart from the j1s - 'you all look so fresh!' haha

anyway the walk-in part for all the different clans was really good, i daresay maybe even better than ours last year. that's because they really put in the effort to come up with dances for the individual clans this year.

i pity the j1s this year for having to master such difficult mass dances in so few days! the songs are nice though. after attempting to learn the singles mass dance on wed and thurs, the part of the song 'push it, push it, to the limit, limit' is stuck in my head and i can't get it out.

i talked to some juniors. it's heartwarming to see my juniors who are ogls stepping up the plate and doing a great job. now my og kids know how we felt last year! it's always takes extra effort on the first day of school to rah-rah any og. after that it just gets better and better (: i'm sure they'll all have a lot of fun. i think orientation is actually the most fun when you're in the position of an ogl in your j2 year. in j1 when you first enter the school you have a certain level of wide-eyed innocence and need time to learn the ropes; from j3 onwards, you've already 'been there, done that.'

on wed, we had a mini-guitar gathering/dinner at crystal jade, then we went to cold rock for dessert. the company and food were both lovely. but we definitely missed the rest. hopefully we'll have a gathering of a larger number in february.

yesterday (thursday) i didn't intend to go the school again actually, but then i suddenly remembered that sconejuniors needed help to sell food as fundraising for funorama. so i went back at 10plus to help out. i think i went too early because i was the only j3 helping them for very, very long- for most of my time there. but i'm glad i went because i got to talk to some of them i haven't even had the opportunity to talk to before. i hope i get to go for a very belated sji of some sort before i leave for aussie. also i won't be around to help them for the intensive funorama prep so i shall do what i can for them before i go. funorama tickets anyone? :D

2007

2008-01-02T01:28:00.000+11:00

it's a new year!

i'm thankful for last year, 2007. it was in j2 that friendships in school were really strengthened, be it in class or guitar. and even though a levels was gruelling, i'm glad for it because though it God taught me to be more disciplined and learn to balance the things in life better. there were so many more lessons i learned throughout the year. i think i have most of my thoughts on those lessons penned down on the more traditional paper diary/journal already. but if need be i might add on some time soon. i wonder how many people actually keep a paper journal. but i need it to keep record of really important things so i can flip through it from time to time- to be encouraged by all God has done for me and his unfailing promises.

'Hindsight is always perfect'.

on a side note, the christmas parties of 2007 were a really good time of fellowship. and last night's sleepover was fun too! though not everyone could make it. watching house really makes you examine the Ethical, Legal and Social Issues pertaining to the advances in biology/medicine. it's interesting how you can actually learn stuff from certain tv shows. this reminds me of some class discussion we had in gp before. HMM. anyway, given how the developments in science in the near future are all likely to be in the field of biology, i'm glad i took biology up to a levels. and house makes you think about where you stand morally too. so yeah i do actually think it's a really good show even though sometimes the jokes are too crude for my liking.

KL and merry christmas!

2007-12-25T18:22:00.000+11:00

i just got back from kl! my family and i spent a week there. we did a day trip up to ipoh too. most of our time was spent with our relatives, which was really good. i only have 3 girl cousins, all younger than me, all from the same family in kl. they really put a smile on your face. they are so full of joy and innocence, it's really uplifting. how happy the world often seems to little children (: there's a lot we can learn from children, their childlike faith for instance.

if you're curious how much shopping i did in kl, i spent a grand total of RM6.90. not bad huh. i'm saving for winterwear in hk. hehh. that will be a necessity.

everytime we go back to kl we really pig out there. supper is so common for the people there, or at least my relatives anyway. and the christmas/new year food fest just started! i should go running more often.

anyway, merry christmas everyone! don't forget the real reason for this occasion... it's really overwhelming how Jesus died for us on the cross to pay for our sins. imagine the extent of the debt we accumulate sinning, yet it is cancelled when we believe and receive, and take up the cross to follow Him.

i've been reading this book called 'Driven by Eternity' by John Bevere for the last few days and it's been really enlightening. it really makes you reflect on how you live your own life.

off to bangkok

2007-12-06T13:18:00.000+11:00

my parents and my brother are finally back from melbourne (:

we're off to bangkok in 2 hours.

until then, tata!

prom photos

2007-12-05T17:24:00.001+11:00

a glimpse of the night [everything's on facebook already] :

group shot. i love these girls to bits(:

all the ac guitarists who were there

prom

2007-12-05T16:38:00.001+11:00

andrea turns 18 today. blessed birthday andrea! though you probably won't read this, sconeand pw definitely wouldn't have been the same without you!

after sleeping from 12midnight to 10am today, i finally got back all my sleep i lost on prom night!

can you imagine, the weeks of planning for prom culminated in just one night. but it was fun while it lasted anyway. shopping for any particular item is very very stressful, i discovered. but when you don't go shopping for anything in particular, you see so much nice stuff you like but don't need.

back to the big day. before prom fang geok mindy xin and i met at karen's house to deposit our stuff first and change into our dresses first. we left karen's house on the late side cos we all didn't want to be the first one to change haha. in the end we solved the problem by changing at the same time in different rooms.

headed to hollywood secrets at paragon for hair and make-up. it was so packed with people who similarly had pre-prom appointments! we saw quite a number of ac people. from sconealone steph dash mag feli lily were there too.

from paragon, steph's mum gave us a lift straight to shangri-la. the best part of prom was taking photos with my glam friends, and just sharing the night together. the deco was better than 2 and a half years ago when we were in mg, mainly because the ballroom has since been renovated. even the toilets changed location.

most of thescones went to karen's house together for our own post-prom programme. i'm so glad we all didn't want to go for the clarke quay post-prom. i'm sure we would have just incurred an unecessary additional cost for prom-related expenses. and after hearing all the horror stories of what happened at the clarke quay post-prom, i'm even more relieved we didn't go. who says you need to go clubbing to have fun.

our sconepost-prom was so much cheaper in monetary terms, but so much more priceless in terms of what we got to do. just chilling out together at karen's house was great. karen was a really good host! there were even bedspreads on the floor for us to sleep and i did make use of it haha. so throughout the night, we played games, watched movies, and drifted off to sleep [occasionally]. jialing was the only one who could really sleep throughout.

in the morning we went to macs for breakfast. good thing we didn't order in or we probably would have been stoning for a while. so that more or less wraps up the whole prom night.

when i got back from macs yesterday i only napped for one hour, then i had to get up to shoo my brother out of the house for his piano lesson. after that i just had to watch heroes, and upload photos on facebook, then i left for school to crash my juniors' guitar camp with a few others. i was quite zonked out most of the time due to lack of sleep. we stayed on for dinner cos there were extra packets of food, then we left.

anyway prom photos are all on facebook so go there for my photo album. might upload a few here later.

rest

2007-12-03T02:56:00.000+11:00

today was the first day since a levels ended that i completely did not step out of the house. and for most of today, i was alone at home by myself. the solitude was very welcome. it was relaxing to be able to do whatever i wanted on a whim. and well, after being out of home so much, it's nice to wind down at home.

and i did quite a bit of thinking and reflecting. about my time in jc... and the future. and prayed about it. haven't really had such a nice long stretch of time for the day's qt- just between God and me- for so long. it's really peaceful spending time with God when there's no one else around. and pour out your heart to God in words and song. not that He doesn't already know what's in my heart.. He knows me more than i know myself. but it works the same way as with close friends. your friend knows how you feel.. call it intuition if you like. hearing you personally convey your thoughts tell them gives them joy. and well, talking to your closest friend puts your heart and mind more and ease.

yesterday and today the word 'believe' popped up a few times. it is a word i needed to hear:-

yesterday i watched the polar express. it's on the draggy side but the message it tries to convey is heartwarming. the best part of the movie is actually the theme song imo. it's called 'believe my josh groban. and here's a part of it...
Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.
and might i add.. believe in Him and His promises... believe in who He created you to be...

this morning i began on john bevere's book 'talent is not enough'. and the first chapter spoke of how we have to believe in our potential, in ourselves, and in our mission. it sounds simple, but it took those simple words to bring to my attention that i haven't really been believing in some areas.

it's like i've been on a cycle of telling myself 'i think i can', than i slip and doubt again. but i'm so thankful because He always pulls me out of moping, and reminding me of His faithfulness.

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

east coast park, sleepover, EIGHTEEN!

2007-12-01T02:40:00.000+11:00

thank you everyone who wished me happy birthday today. you know who you are. i feel very very loved. i am blessed with an amazing family and friends.

[brace yourself for a long entry]

the past three days have been thoroughly enjoyable.

we had quite a picnic spread for wednesday's guitar outing at east coast park. our post-picnic cycling plans were postponed by 3 hours by the northeast monsoon so we had to kill time at mac's. i'm really glad we got to cycle in the end, even though some people have to leave early.. cycling with good company is really a nice way to spend time. we had dinner at parkway parade then we took mrt home together. east coast park is so out of the way for people living in the west. but never mind cos that gave us more time to talk (:.

i really don't know when i'll next see some of these people again =(. only time will tell. we must meet up when we can okay..

yesterday i caught enchanted with geok mindy xin fang. it's a pleasant movie, as you would expect of a fairytale.

later we had a sleepover a geok's place. karen came too. geok's mum whipped up so much food for us! i really liked the prawns with flakes hehe. we had really late dinner till about 10. there were fruits and jelly after that which we had to finish by playing zhong ji mi ma. i was so full after that already. then the cake came! thanks dears you all are so sweeeet. even though the surprise was kind of spoiled by geok's brother haha. i'm really really touched. look what karen baked!!

chocolate and banana cake!

yummy!

thanks for my customised musical box too (:. anyway after that we watched eragon and a part of step-up then we fell asleep.

left geok's place together in the morning, then i met min xin rach ame for lunch at changing appetites. i had a very lovely time catching up with you guys. you guys mean so much to me. thanks for my beanbag pau and the cutest snoopy card (:

after that i was pretty tired so i came home to snooze a little [and get my brother to pack for his camp]. then i went for bacc at church. i'm really glad i went. i had a good chat with the taxi driver about religion. at the bacc session worship was really good, God's presence was so strong. and it was so good to end off the day focusing on God.

thanks again everyone who made today so special for me(:

what a day of shopping

2007-11-28T02:46:00.000+11:00

my feet hurt from shopping today! i met laureen and we covered most of the area from far east all the way to centrepoint. walked around for about 8 hours non-stop i think. and i'm finally done with shopping for seniors' night.

just now i was sorting out my stuff and i came across 3 photocopying cards for school. one $2 card, one $5 card, and one $10 card. haha. i wonder why i never topped them up instead of buying new ones. hmmm. oh well no need for those cards anymore! (and no need to wait in line to get notes hah.)

need to get a good sleep for east coast park outing with guitar people tmr.

commerce

2007-11-27T02:32:00.004+11:00

a levels ended only last thursday but it seems quite some time ago already.

well to sum up what i've been doing, i've watched gameplan and stardust, caught up with some people i haven't seen in a while, and done a lot of shopping hah. seniors' night is really costing a lot and i'm not completely done with shopping for seniors' night yet =/. but thankfully my parents are okay about it.. as long as what i buy has 'long-term usage'.

just now we had sconeclassdinner.. arranged because finally everyone in class is done with a levels! the turnout was decent. i have more to say about tonight but i shall not say it here.

on to another topic. well yesterday i was asked again why i want to go to uni of melb.. why i want to do commerce. ['why not medicine?' 'commerce isn't related to science!'] so maybe it may not sound as glamourous as studying medicine or law for instance. but for me, when i do something i need to be able to do it whole-heartedly. and right now i have peace about going into commerce. even though the future is decidedly uncertain at this point, i know it's the next step i have to take.

take a step of faith... trust in Him...

goodbye to a levels

2007-11-24T02:55:00.000+11:00

yay no more a levels! since yesterday 9:15am (:

jc life moves at the speed of a bullet train. i can remember the first day of jc so vividly still.

in jc, for all the intensive mugging you have to go through, the friends you make, the experiences you go through, and the memories you take with you, make going to jc worthwhile a million times over.

2007-11-15T23:02:00.000+11:00

3 more papers! i can't wait for 22nd nov to come!

so far a levels have been okay in general, save for some weird questions for some papers. i'm really relieved econs is over cos it's one of the most unpredictable subjects.

on my part i did what i could, and God has been good, giving me the strength to press on. ultimately it's all in His hands.

He will rejoice over you with singing

2007-10-28T23:08:00.000+11:00

This verse is so beautiful.
Zephaniah 3:17- 'The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.'
I like the last part especially. To me, using music to convey messages is special, and poignant when it's genuine.
'The LORD is my strength and my song'. -Exodus 15:1

A levels start in 3 days.
But on the brighter side,
25 days to the last day of A levels!! X)

May God be with you my friends.

God Is The Strength Of My Heart

2007-10-23T15:56:00.000+10:00

God Is The Strength Of My Heart
by Don Moen

Whom have I in heaven but You
There is nothing on earth I desire beside You
My heart and my strength many times they fail
But there is one truth that always will prevail

God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever, forever

8 days!

God will be with you

2007-10-17T22:37:00.000+10:00

Judges 6:14,16- The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have... Am I not sending you? I will be with you"

that's the verse i saw in the sports complex today, after gymming with lily steph bushy.

the verse is on a piece of paper plastered to a pillar. when i saw it, the verse really jumped out at me. it's so encouraging to be reminded that God is with us, no matter what happens.

before gymming, we went for morning worship and assembly.

and in the afternoon, i crashed guitar with yizhen and more people joined us after their physics paper was over (:

it's the little things like this that really make my day, every day. simple thoughts, words, actions, events, and so on. count your blessings! (:

remember the wonders He has done

2007-10-15T23:06:00.000+10:00

Psalm 105:4,5 - 'Look to the LORD and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done'

precious friends

2007-10-12T01:30:00.000+10:00

baccalaureate was yesterday.
i am so blessed to have such precious, precious friends.

for the very first time, we had full attendance at a class outing (:

keep smiling, keep shining,
knowing you can always count on me, for sure;
that's what friends are for.

for good times, and bad times,
i'll be by your side forever more;
that's what friends are for.

i'm gonna miss you guys so much :'(

ac life

2007-10-07T22:58:00.001+10:00

i was just thinking about my class. i'd say last year's AC games was the event that marked the start of us really coming together. this year we got to know one another a whole lot better as time progressed. but in the middle of the year rifts started to form, and things just seemed to get worse. i'm not sure if everyone felt that way too, but i know some of us did..

then things took a turn for the better after prelims. i can't really pin down when exactly. perhaps it was the settlers cafe themed gathering. all i know is term 4 has definitely been the best time for us as a class so far. we're closer to one another than ever before.

i hate to think that i only have 3 official school days left with this incredible bunch of people. i'll miss the weird stuff we do just to amuse ourselves and make school days a whole lot more enjoyable. like last wednesday's self-declared sconerd day. (disclaimer: we had absolutely no intention of mocking anyone or hurting anyone's feelings. )

i'm so thankful to God for answering my prayers. and i pray for better things to come to pass in time.

the past 2 years in ac have been amazing. particularly friends from both sconeandacguitar, have made the experience amazing. God is so good.

i know where and when God wants me to study next year. but i'm still seeking His voice as for subjects to take.

take my fears, my inhibitions
all my burdens, my amibitions
You can use it all
hope it's not too small

no gift is too small.

contagious (:

2007-10-06T01:54:00.000+10:00

hmm i was really encouraged by tonight's lesson. i had some new revelations of why God put me in certain places. and this new module system (on alternate weeks, anyway) kind of reminds me of sol last time (:. which brings backs many many good memories. learnt quite a lot there.

all in all, so much exciting stuff has been happening this week, and i really thank God for these blessings.

shall leave some food for thought here:
'Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' 2Cor 12:8-10

happy!

2007-09-22T01:59:00.000+10:00

God is so good to me!

however weird it may sound, i've actually thoroughly enjoyed every moment of school this week. it must be the company of my friends God has placed in my life!

last week's and today's growth track sessions were really good! things are improving by leaps and bounds!

i love how God leads us through His plans for us. all we have to do is follow His voice. like how i knew i had to come to AC because He told me to.

it's really good to have a journal for penning down what God speaks to us. i'm talking about my real paper journal. i write a lot more personal stuff there. probably only the outer layers of that journal's content can be found here. there have been many promises that have come to pass, and it's great to know i'm on the right track for Him. sometimes i flip through that journal to be reminded of His faithfulness, and His wonderful promises to me. some promises have yet to come true of course. and each promise is so dear to me (:.

He makes all things beautiful in His time

2007-09-18T01:38:00.000+10:00

i hate seeing my friends feel down. cheer up friends! j2s, we'll get through A levels together. by God's grace. smile (:

God makes all things beautiful in His time.

a time of well-spent rest.

2007-09-09T13:23:00.001+10:00

thank you guitar people for lovely times on thursday and yesterday, and thank you mydearscones for making my day on friday.

the past one and a half weeks have been a splendid time of rest. i originally intended to study a bit during the holidays but in the end i only managed a little bit of econs and math. partly because i was out so much, and partly because when i was at home i couldn't really bring myself to study, except on some occasions.

but in a way i'm glad i didn't get to study much actually, cos i think we all deserved and needed a little break after prelims, me included. cos from now on until 22nd nov, i doubt i'll be able to go out anymore.

i remember in sec 4, one of our teachers told us that we need to pace ourselves to peak on 2 occasions, the first at prelims, and the second at the major exams, in this case A levels. and the second peak should obviously be higher. but before you can peak the second time, you need to allow for a little dip.. to recuperate, if you like. i suppose it's like a pit stop, to refuel ourselves for the rest of the race. you can't keep studying persistently right after prelims, or else you'll burn out and peak before A levels. then you'll be out of fuel for A levels and can't perform to your optimum. at least i think that's the way it works that way for me.

since prelims ended, i've been doing lots of fun stuff. crashing guitar prac, ratatouille, hairspray, shopping, eating, baking, playing piano, playing guitar, reading, house visiting, bowling, seoul garden-ing, scone'settlers cafe' gathering, open house and a whole lot more.

actually, i play piano and guitar even when exams are around the corner and during exams so i suppose that doesn't really count as additional stuff i've been able to do. it's a really good way of de-stressing. and so is listening to music when you're studying. it provides some variation. i will be doing a lot of it in the 6 weeks or so in the run-up to the A levels.

anyway this entry is getting rather long so i shall stop. here.

a little goes a long way.

2007-09-05T20:46:00.000+10:00

a little goes a long way.

one simple action, or even one simple sms, does make a lot of difference. you'll be amazed.

God has used the people He's put in my life to touch me in ways they may not even realise.

That happened a lot during prelims.

And just yesterday, too (:. everybody needs to be loved and understood.

i still don't understand fully why God brought me to a certain place. but i'm beginning to get an idea.. that this will prepare me for things to come. i have benefited in many ways, but i can't say i've really settled in. i've always wanted to give so much more.. but haven't been able to for some reason or other.

but looking at a bigger picture, away from there, in school, God has consistently given me opportunities to serve... both in mg and in ac... and i'm so thankful for what He's given me.. so that i can give in turn. i can love because God first loved.

hold on to patience
and watch for the sign
everything in its time

BYE BYE PRELIMS

2007-09-01T01:16:00.001+10:00

wheeeee no more prelims! honestly a few weeks before prelims i felt my studies were in a disastrous state but God's been really good, and carried me through prelims all the way. couldn't have done it without Him.

anyway, the last few days have been a blast!

'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why

And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the beat!

the hairspray songs are so catchy. i think i'm gonna get the soundtrack. hehe.

prelim fever!

2007-08-23T19:24:00.000+10:00

the worst of prelims is over! (:

this week's exam timetable was really madness. what with all 4 content subject papers in 2 days, i wasn't really sure how it would go. it's especially in times like this that one really has nothing to cling on to but His words and promises. so i did what i could, and hey, it didn't turn out too bad! by God's grace (:. not that the papers weren't hard; they were, but i'm glad i'm done with them anyway.

Assuredly Yours

2007-08-11T20:55:00.000+10:00

sang this song in church just now. it really ministered to me.

Assuredly Yours
-by Paradise

Verse
All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

PreChorus
Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I'll find

Chorus
Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

music

2007-08-10T16:15:00.000+10:00

Music has a cathartic effect that can’t quite be captured in words. It conveys emotion that you need to feel for yourself. That’s the beauty of it.

16 days

2007-07-30T00:16:00.000+10:00

prelims are in 16 days! there's even a countdown on the school's website.

these days, i often get so overwhelmed thinking about what needs to be done. and how prelim results will determine my path next year. but when you take a step back, and see the bigger picture, God's the one that's really in control. trust His heart...

i want to live out the meaning of my name. dependent on God.

when i study in my bedroom, and i look out the window, the most noticeable thing is bukit timah hill. and i'm reminded of Psalm 121.

PS 121:1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?
PS 121:2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
PS 121:3 He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber;
PS 121:4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
PS 121:5 The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
PS 121:6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
PS 121:7 The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;
PS 121:8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

tomorrow

2007-07-23T21:20:00.000+10:00

i like this song. it has such a cheery, optimistic attitude about it, especially when the little girl lead sings it (:

Tomorrow- from the musical Annie
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck in a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A-way!
-------------

persevere and hope! for we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him.

please Lord, i need Your help, Your comfort. please give me a way out.

2007-07-14T16:19:00.001+10:00

omg i nearly posted this on the wrong blog. thank goodness i realised in time.

prelims are in 31 days! :O gawsh.

i have much to be thankful for the past week
-meeting min, xin, rach.
-the absolute LAST oral exam i'll take ever
and so much more.. i just don't have the time to type it all out

vectors lecture was so tiring! but it's still part of revision anyway.

have you ever had sticky fingers after coming into contact with duct tape? and found it difficult to get off all the stickiness? that analogy is the best i can think of to describe how i feel sometimes about certain issues. like you never wanted things to turn out a certain way, but they did; you're caught in a sticky situation and you can't change it.

i'm rambling. and i'm being unspecific. but it has to be this way because this is the internet.

God works in mysterious ways! it's taken me almost 1 and a half years to understand something and i'm more thankful for it than ever.

'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.' -Galatians 6:9. what a wonderful word of encouragement in the light of the fact that, i say again, prelims are in 31 days.

paper chase

2007-07-06T17:33:00.000+10:00

Life shouldn't be about a paper chase. Because at the end of the day, it's really what's in your heart that matters. There isn't anything wrong with striving for achievements. In fact, I do believe in aiming high in a spirit of excellence. But if you do something without love, while you may pick up some earthly rewards, in eternity, it amounts to nothing.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matthew 6:19-21

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

野地的花

2007-07-01T15:22:00.000+10:00

God is good. All the time.

The past week has been an intense one for my family. I've felt a whole range of emotions in just the last week alone. My family's happy for my grandma, cos we know she's in a better place now. God's been so gracious and faithful.

God has shown me the meaning of three things in particular...
1. let go... let God be in control
2. be joyful in times of trial (James 1:2-4 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.' )
3. agape love. God's love has been demonstrated in so many ways through His people... family, friends, churches. God's love is amazing, steady, unchanging, and irreplaceable.

The song below -my grandma's favourite song- is so meaningful. it says how God's watching over us every second, that He knows all our thoughts, He's all powerful, and truly i'm so blessed by Him.

野地的花

野地的花穿着美丽的衣裳
天空的鸟儿从来不为生活忙
慈爱的天父天天都看顾
他更爱世上的人为他们预备永生的路

一切需要天父已经都知道
若心中烦恼让他为你除掉
慈爱的天父天天都看顾
他是全能的主信靠他的人真是有福

really, God knows best. by His grace i was able to come back from kl after the service, just in time to perform for handbells concert yesterday night. i got there during the interval. i didn't want to let the alumni down by not being able to play cos it was too late to get a replacement. thanks meiping and angelina for coming, and thanks for the roses (:.

i'm thankful for the opportunity to play handbells once more yesterday.. even though it may not have sounded the way we would have liked :/. didn't really get to hear my juniors play, but their syf pieces definitely sounded good (:.

it's wonderful how different batches of ringers can get together and be at home with one another. that's something magical about mg.. how we can always return and feel so at home... it's like returning to our roots.

where the love lasts forever

2007-06-28T10:35:00.000+10:00

my grandma's gone home to be with the Lord.

her soul will dance with You, where the love lasts forever.

God's timing

2007-06-14T01:33:00.000+10:00

i came back from kl a few days ago. i went there for nearly a week to see my grandma. things aren't looking good. but the most heartening thing was seeing how she loves having God's word read to her, and her favourite Christian song sang to her. i'm glad she can take comfort in God's love. it's like psalms 23 says.. even though she may be walking through the valley of the shadow of death, there is nothing to fear, because God is with her.

i guess the past week was in a sense an eye-opener. it's the first time i'm seeing someone i know deteriorating physically... slowly slipping away from the world. but i know it's all in God's hands... God's timing.

ECC 3:1 -
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die....

june hols week 1

2007-06-03T01:01:00.001+10:00

whoaa the first week of the holidays is nearly over! every day has gone by so fast. so much has happened in the span of one week.

last sat there was the performing arts lunch and we left for tpjc after that to perform for their concert. it was quite tiring, but still enjoyable. every moment of guitar is meant to be relished.

sunday was spent mugging for chinese which was on monday morning. it was tougher than the school paper. but anyhow, it's over.

i went for guitar camp right after the paper (:. the camp was lovely, because of the people who were there. on the last night of the camp, our juniors did something really really sweet for all of us. they made us feel so special. and the heart was so pretty! okay i sound incoherent but my thoughts are a little jumbled up now.

the next morning there was the test, then lunch with guitar people, then srp.

yesterday was a night to remember. went out with the ac guitarists for dinner. we initially were set on marche but when we got to suntec, we discovered it was closed. haha. so we went to fish and co instead.

after dinner we headed up to the biggest fountain in singapore. i must say the fountain looks splendid at night. and we made a dedication (:.

see the background! so pretty!

after admiring the dedication we went to the esplanade roof top to talk. everyone shared about how they came to be in guitar and their experiences in guitar. it was a really good time of sharing. actually we were asked by the esplanade personnel to leave at about 11 plus, before everyone finished sharing, but there's always next time.

this afternoon, i went to mg after lunch for handbells practice. it was my first time getting to ring the bells properly for a full length song in almost 2 years! we chose our songs for our alumnae performance and ran through them a few times.

for dinner, i went to dash's house for sconebbq! the food was good, i loved the dessert especially! banana + chocolate + marshmallows and nuts about raisin ice-cream! yummy! there was a lot of leftover food so we played 'i have never...', in attempt to clear the food. interesting game ;). basically, everyone takes turns to say 'i have never...' and whoever else has done that particular thing, has to eat. at that time, i was already very full, so the food was not appealing at all. ice-cream doesn't taste so good when it has melted.

i <3 ac guitar

2007-05-30T19:05:00.000+10:00

i don't want guitar to end :(